As many of you know, Jacob and I transitioned to a new church at the beginning of this semester. To say it has been a roller coaster for me does not even begin to scratch the surface of the situation.
We have been blessed by so many people in our new church family–even before we became a part of that church family–and they have done nothing but absolutely welcome us in from day one. I am so, so thankful for those people and their sincerity in loving us. It has been so encouraging and has made great lengths at easing my transition.
Keeping that in mind, it has also been really hard. It’s been hard because, even while we know a lot of people’s names, I don’t feel like I have real friends there yet. Relationships take time, of course, so it is completely unrealistic for me to be disappointed by that already…but reminding myself of that true statement does not make me feel any less lonely, awkward, or out of place. It’s easy for me to let that loneliness simmer into discouragement, and that’s a dangerous place to hang out. Today, the blind man in Luke 18: 35-43 resonated with me. I’ve let myself be blinded from Jesus’ goodness lately. I’ve been so blinded by my own inadequacies as a wife, friend, daughter, church-goer, and Christian that I forgot who makes me adequate despite all those things. So today, I am renouncing blindness and asking Jesus in faith to recover my sight. And I’ll do it again tomorrow.