a directed heart

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Consider him

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted… “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons… For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Heb 12:2,5-7, 10-11)

Reading this Scripture jolted my attitude about working today. I arrived at work a little early and spent some time reading at the employee table. I realized my current season of running around, working somewhere I don’t want to work the rest of my life, waiting to get married, and trying to finish college is training me. It’s an endurance race and I’m in it because God loves me and he sees it’s for my good–my good is that I can share in his holiness. Sometimes it really seems painful. It seems painful to go to work knowing I will come home smelling and feeling disgusting, knowing I’ll have to get dirty working in food service. It seems painful to wait another year to be a wife, a role I’ve been looking forward to my whole life. It seems painful spend my next two years in classrooms when I’m ready to have a job and be out in the world now. It seems painful to financially survive as a married couple the first few years. These disciplines seem painful because my eyes aren’t on the true prize… they’re on fake earthly prizes like comfort, rest, independence, worth, money, and marriage. None of those things are bad until they take the place of my true prize, Jesus Christ. The prize is being made more like Jesus. The prize is eternal life with my King. All these tough circumstances and jobs are good because they’re training me to look at Jesus for my comfort, my rest, my worth, and my marriage.

So all that to say, reading the above Scripture today gave me renewed vision at work and in this period of waiting. I’m trying to soak up this season and be serious about this training that I’m enduring. For this is the will of God, your sanctification (1 Thess 4:3).

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God (heb 12:1-2).



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who is wise and understanding among you?

James has been puncturing my heart in a very refreshing and convicting manner lately… it’s been nice to feel that again.

Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but it is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial, and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace (3:13-18).

Phrases to think about:

1. The wise are also understanding? Hmm.

2. By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom… so the wise are called wise by their works, because their wisdom is reflected in their works. (reminds me of James 2 where it talks about how our faith is shown by our works and completed by our works (vv.14-26)… sounds like wisdom apart from “wise works” isn’t wisdom after all, huh?)

3. Meekness of wisdom–what does that look like? What does meekness look like? (didn’t Jen study that like a year ago…?)

meek: humbly patient or docile, as under provocation from others.
wisdom: knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment
as to action (thank you, dictionary.com)

4. Jealousy and selfish ambition (sin) have consequences: disorder and every vile practice.

5. How am I striving to make peace (thinking also Romans 14:18-19 “Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.”)? What does that look like?

Prayers to be consistent in:

1. Praying for jealousy and selfish ambition to consistently lose to grace and mercy in my heart.

2. Filtering what I think is “wisdom” through these qualifications: purity, peacefulness, gentleness, reasonableness, mercifulness and fruition, impartiality, and sincerity.

Father in heaven, thank you for your Word. Thank you for the truth you present us in it and its power to move and stir us. Thank you for a renewed spirit and open mind today as I read your Word. Please renew that desire in me for tomorrow! I want to sit at your feet and drink in the truth of your Word. Thank you for Jesus, the Word who became flesh, dwelt among us, and bore the wrath you had for us. Give me the strength to fight sin and remember your Word. I want to reflect you and walk in the meekness of wisdom. Father, I ask all of this in your Son’s name. Amen.

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this is the end // a forward movement

stretching between these ends
their hearts and their plans.
they never seem to meet.

feeling far from the One Who Matters Most
I let myself be pushed and pulled,
looking for satisfaction and paths to righteousness in them.
this is the end.

all glory goes to my Father
not myself, not him, not her.
our time here is more than who wins,
this is the end.

we possess what is life-giving and true,
the Gospel of new life, new hope, new breath.
this is the end of self-righteousness and law
this is the end of fighting for our names.

move me forward to fight for Yours, O Lord.


Castillo de San Marcos

We took a break from the sun this evening and drove back to St. Augustine to explore the town. We stopped at a popular attraction, the Castillo de San Marcos, a fort from the 1700’s! It’s actually a national monument and it’s the only existing 17th century fort in America!! Click the link above if you’re interested in learning more:) Here are some pictures from our excursion:

In case you actually want to know what this thing is about...

The fort is so neat!! It looks like a mini-castle; it even has a mote area in the front of it (pictured later).

You can see part of the mote area behind mom and dad.

The entrance into the fort! They give tours of the inside (you even see places where they tortured people!!), but we arrived too late and it was already closed inside. (Note the canons at the top of the fort!)

So we continued exploring the outside.

(The structure pictured above this picture)

The pretty view from the back of the fort.

As much as I anticipated a lack of interest in the history of St. Augustine, I really enjoyed our little tour and would love to go back to see the inside! We’ll see if we make it out there another day this week. Until then, we’ll be at the pool:).

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st. augustine

We started off our family vacation (minus Nick) with a wedding… what a wonderful start, right?!:)

Jenn and her father walking down the aisle.

Husband and wife!

My cousins Jordyn and Jenna:).

Mom and Mamaw:)

Air jamming at the reception!!

It has been a great few days in Florida so far; it’s been wonderful to spend some quality time with my parents and extended family who I don’t see very often. It’s also been great time to relax, rest, and spend some good time meditating. The Lord has been stirring my heart a lot the past few days.. I’m excited for the rest of this week! The wedding was in St. Augustine (the oldest and most historical town in FL), and we’re going back there tonight to explore the town!


kite making 101

My really nice boyfriend, Jacob, and I have been making a kite over the past week and a half! He surprised me last Saturday and took me out to buy supplies so I can check it off my 20-while-I’m-20 list:). What a great man, right??:)

Here are some pictures of the process….

Part 1: The Kite Frame

Here are most of our supplies... And an ice cold diet coke to top it off:). Couldn't leave that important ingredient out of the picture:).

Jacob measuring out the sticks so we can cut them appropriately.


Time to attach the sticks and form the kite frame!

Our kite frame!!

Part 1 complete.

Part 2: The pretty cover!! Jacob went into work for the afternoon, so while he worked, I set to work on making our kite unique a beautiful creation:).

Ladies, does this material look familiar to any of you??? I made this kite cover from an old skirt! I found a hole in it when I was moving out of school, so instead of throwing it away, I saved it to use for crafts later! Came in handy. I cut it up and sewed it together to make our kite cover!

Well, between kite-making days, I broke the kite. So Jacob saved the day and fixed it with some duct tape:).

I bought a clear rain poncho from Walmart to sew to the fabric to give the kite more durability.

I pinned the fabric to the poncho, cut the extra off, and sewed it together! The kite cover is ready to be folded over and taped!!

Here's our kite folded over and sewed together! We tried using tape to attach the cover to the frame, but it didn't seem to hold. We decided sewing the fabric around the frame would probably work better, so that's what we did! We also added the tail here! And then Jacob trimmed off the extra poncho fabric to make the kite look nicer (not pictured).

And I broke the kite again:(. This is what happened when I excitedly ripped the tape off, thinking we were finally finished. So I sewed up the injured area... hopefully this won't affect the kite's flying abilities.

And here's the last picture!!! Our finished kite, complete with a tail and flying string!!

We also attempted flying it today. However, there was literally zero wind, so the attempt mostly consisted of me running up a hill, letting go of the kite, and it falling straight to the ground over and over again… a funny sight, I’m sure. So we’re waiting for a windy day to test her out for real!